Growing old is reward in itself ...

i agree with Ladykatya. I don't like the alternative to growing old. I suppose growing old is the reward in itself. Wow! Pat, I did not know folks felt this way. I was always told to be the gentleman. I did these things with a genuine smile on my face, because, I really thought I was doing the right thing and it did not hurt me a bit. In fact, it made me feel quite well, knowing that I did the honorable thing and maybe made somebody's day. Our Boy Scout slogan was "Do a good turn daily." I don't know what to say. much love

jon
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Thanks for your comment, Jon.

I think if we arrive into old age without too many impediments to our enjoying life, then growing old would be its own reward .. and a just reward. I'm certainly more contented in myself than when I was younger.

And old age is still a way off for me, I don't get an OA pension until I turn 65, so I'm not ready to embrace a self-image that would cause me to become habitually, more dependent than I already am. Otherwise I'm not going to make it to pension day :)

Reading responses to the first blog in various places, I get the understanding that there could be a fairly widespread attitude among women, when we hit the half century, that we first begin to come up against signs in other people's behaviour (though well meant) that teach us to worry about whether we can take care of ourselves or not. We also become afeared of losing our independence because our bodies are signalling a decrease in power. It's a double whammy which we may well have to accustom ourselves to in, what amounts to, the blink of an eye.

It's not just men being courteous to women any more. Or young people being courteous to older people (hey it happens!) ... and men being polite makes us feel great, whatever our age, so please don't stop that {",]

When as a woman, though, I'm deferred to by another woman - a stranger, and someone whose been sitting quietly by, not being chatty, so there's no other contact that might make her say 'after you' (and we women can be pretty nice to each other too) - that woman being not that many years younger. And it comes to my attention that a pattern has begun to form here because other people have lately become strangely solicitous, then I get to wondering if I've hit the downhill slide. It's at that point, by my appearance, I feel I'm being judged as "fragile" which picture begins to erode my confidence. Two minutes before I had a residual impression of being a strapping woman of 50 plus, capable of doing hard stuff like sweeping floors and meeting work deadlines and bango(!), in my mind's eye, suddenly I'm reduced to being a doddering wreck - because my imagination is often over the top ... yes, I admit it. And, yes, if you said, Pat, you should be instead bathing in the glow of someone's kindness .. and I do, I do, in my heart of hearts. I'm glowing. Look, please see me glow *smiles*.

It's not that people being kind is not appreciated, it's not that at all, but, by the time a man undergoes exposure to these special considerations, he generally is elderly. With women, it starts earlier on - and yes as we have established it is a good thing.

But in their fifties men are still considered hale and hearty no matter that their hair is getting sparse and/or going white or grey (mine hardly is), or their bodies are going a funny shape (moving right along ...) or any other outward thing that symbolises the onset of old age approaching.

I don't know, I do wonder if, maybe, all the way through our lives we women have more adjustments to make in society, than men do, to the ways we see ourselves?

Notice, it's a question not a statement, I thank you.